Many restaurants happily accommodate special requests, but you'll never know if you don't ask. 

I was reminded of this on a recent visit to Restaurant Eve in Alexandria, Virginia.  One of my two dining companions was Heather Lauer, author of BaconUnwrapped and a fan of all things pork.  The three of us were inclined toward the 9 course chef's tasting menu, but one item stood out on the 5 course prix fix list that she really wanted to try: "Bacon, Egg, and Cheese." (Truth be told, so did I.)

So we asked our server if it would be possible to get the 9 course menu, but also that one dish.  He told us it would be no problem and he would serve it in the middle of the table for us all to sample during an appropriate meat course.  As promised it came alongside our veal course and I'm glad I had a chance to sample that combination of poached egg, pork belly, and Irish boxty.

Chef Brendan Cox of Circle Bistro and Notti Bianche in Washington, DC was asked during an online discussion with Washington food writer Don Rockwell about how he views special requests.  In particular, one correspondent wanted to know if he was receptive to creating a tasting menu for a group of friends who enjoy wine dinners, but prefer not to cook themselves, as long as he has significant advance notice.

Cox's response might surprise some, but it is typical of many restaurants: "Anyone who wants to have us cook for them is welcome to call me. I generally won't charge a corkage in lieu of an increased guaranteed service charge, so I can make sure my people are taken care of and the guest is satisfied."  He went on to say that as long as the group is small, he typically needs just one day's notice in order to give himself time to procure special ingredients for the menu.

Of course, sometimes you will hear "no" for an answer.  I was enjoying dinner during Restaurant Week in Washington when another patron asked if she could substitute something from the regular menu for something on the prix fix Restaurant Week one.  She was told that was unfortunately not possible.  In that case, the special menu had been tailored specifically for the event and mixing and matching would have been too hard on the kitchen on a night when they were swamped.

Occasionally, however, the rejection may be more arbitrary than well-thought.  New York Times food critic Frank Bruni wrote for his paper about his experience working for a week as a server at a Cambridge, Massachusetts restaurant.  He had done so in order to better understand the server's perspective and to write about it.  (And it was such a compelling piece that it made it into the book Best Food Writing 2006.)

Bruni tells of a couple at one table he served that took "a bossy tone" and wanted to know if the coconut shrimp from the pu pu platter was available a la carte.  "I automatically apologize and say that it's not.  It turns out that I'm right.  (I guiltily check a few minutes later.)  It also turns out that servers make such independent decisions and proclamations, based on the way diners have treated them, all the time."

Whether you have Frank Bruni as your server or Brendan Cox as your chef, you won't know if you don't ask.  Be respectful and inquire if your special request might be possible.  The worst that can happen is that you will be told "no," but you will probably be surprised by how often you get what you ask for.